Day 3: Aredhel (Tumblr Crosspost)

[endless_natterings]

Day 3 Prompt: Aredhel

Summary: Írissë has always been stubborn. But she doesn't think she's being unreasonable.

AO3 Link

Author's note: While I do think Mandos as a place of healing is a good idea in principle, there are inherent problems to it. Add to that the fact that the Ainur don't really understand the elves, and Tolkien's world building around marriage? Yeah, there's going to be issues.(Look I've got opinions about stuff regarding this)
 

“No.”

“My Lady, while I understand your fears and I sympathize with your plight, I have already explained how unfounded they are. You have nothing to be worried about.”

“And I have explained, at length, that it is not fear that keeps me. I’ve given you my conditions, and simple as they are you refuse to fulfill them.”

“Conditions born out of fear, my lady, are not ones we can assent to. It would be detrimental to your healing for us to indulge the restlessness of your mind.”

“Then my answer remains the same. No.”

The maia sighed and left the fëa in the empty courtyard. It had thought they had been making such progress too! The fëa had seemed to happy to hear news of her kin, and had sounded eager to meet them again. It would have been an easy thing to send her off back to Arda to reunite with them.

In its excitement at the prospect of another joyous re-embodiment the maia had pressed on, recounting more stories of her family, and had even been able to share the good news that some of the ones that had been residing in these very halls had been successfully healed and re-embodied.

It should have been good news at least. All wounds and suffering of the past had been washed away, leaving only the anticipation of a bright future. The maia could have understood if the fëa had been a little nervous, it was no small thing to step into a physical form after such a long time. But it hadn’t been just nervousness, it had felt the fëa bristle and then she had said the most horrible thing.

It would have been one thing if she had just refused to return to Arda, no one could force the return if the fëar were not ready, and the Halls would have remained open and welcoming to her for as long as she needed them. That was common sense, they were meant to be a refuge and a balm to those unfortunate enough to have suffered in the world.

But no! The fëa had asked for something terrible and impossible, to tear the bond between two souls and both be allowed to roam the world. Not even Manwë had been able or willing to do that all those centuries ago when another of the Children had gone to him for aid and counsel.

Perhaps its assessment of the case had been wrong, she clearly was not yet healed to the extent the maia had originally believed. How injured did a soul have to still be to ask to be sundered from the one it had tied itself to? Especially after being told all was well and no further injury or offense would occur. Even if the maiar treating that other fëa had been mistaken, which was highly unlikely, their counterparts in Aman would never dream of allowing any harm to come to their charges.

Don’t be so harsh on yourself, the honey warm words of one its kin spilled over its mind, that one has always been a difficult case. She’s very stubborn, you’re not the first one to try and reason with her.

I just wish we could do more for her, she’s clearly so distressed.

Give it time. With time and our care she’ll heal and be able to be well again. The friends continued to speak as they walked down the long path leading to the main pavilion.

Lost as they were in both their conversation and thoughts the maiar did not notice as another fëa made its way into the solitary courtyard. It stood there awkwardly, hovering behind the figure sitting on the ground.

“I don’t want to talk Finno.” Írissë did not turn around, she kept her eyes fixed on the vines crawling over the stone wall in front of her.

“Maybe we should talk. You and Turukáno used to sit and speak together, but then you had that argument, and I know I should have been more attentive to you both, I just-”

“If you’re going to get all melancholic you can go sit with Aegnor by the gates, seeing as you're both waiting for people who won't ever show up after all."

She felt her brother’s fëa flinch. “We still don’t know if-” If he still had a body he would have sighed. “That’s not what I came here for. I heard you’ve refused to go back? Again.”

“It’s not like you’ve accepted to return either. At least I have a good reason.”

“I’m not going to leave you alone, so you can stop trying to provoke me.”

She paused. “Ëol got re-embodied.”

“Your-?”

“Don’t call him my anything. I refuse to hear it.”

“Sorry.”

“They’re saying I’m still married to him, that I can’t break the tie that bind us. They seem to think I should want to work through this.”

“Oh.” Silence stretched on between them. “I can’t fix that.”

“No, you can’t.”

The whole "elves are married once and forever" thing pisses me off really bad. Divorce at the very least would've fixed a lot of issues (so would not expecting healing to be perfect).